I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
