sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
