Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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