is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
