At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
