I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My cat gives me a boner
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
