Yo dont text me then not text me
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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