i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
