I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
