Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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