i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
