Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
