You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
