Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
