What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
