If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
