Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize