She announced her abortion via fbk
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
