there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
