I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
