i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
