i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I can't trust your balls anymore.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
