You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
