who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
