smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
