I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
