Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
