too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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