I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize