She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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