Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
