i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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