Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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