The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
