did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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