I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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