There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
