$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
