apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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