im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize