just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
