It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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