We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
