Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
