I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
