does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
