some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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