is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
