nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize