i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
