he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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