I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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