I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
