Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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