My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
