i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
