You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
