butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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