We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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