i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm like, not good at living.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
