Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
