But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
